Get A Better Relationship With Your Anxiety

February 23, 2023

Whenever people come to me stating that they need help to get over their anxiety, I like to reframe this by saying “you just have a poor relationship with your anxiety.

The root of anxiety pretty much lies in one thing: uncertainty. Consequentially, your anxiety is only concerned with one thing: gaining certainty. Your anxiety doesn’t need to know if things are going to go well or go poorly, it just wants to know how they are going to go

Try and see your anxiety like a barking dog trying to warn you that the woman pushing a stroller down the street outside your house is surely a sign of danger. In this situation, you probably have a good relationship with the dog. You hear it's bark, but do not immediately believe that the dog is a great assessor of danger.

Rather than getting angry at the dog, perhaps you could try to go gently pet it and let it know that things are okay and we don't need to be concerned with that person outside the house.

Improving your relationship with anxiety doesn't mean never experiencing anxiety, it means to not immediately listen as often.

The next time you feel yourself experiencing an anxious response, try and back up a little bit. Are you getting wrapped up in something that probably doesn't need your attention at the moment? See if in that process you can be kind to yourself.

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