In this insightful episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla delve into the complex world of apologies. They explore the apology continuum, highlighting the tendency some people have to over-apologize while others may under-apologize. The hosts discuss common apology pitfalls, such as when "I'm sorry" misses the mark, including over-apologizing, passive-aggressive apologies, and making the apology about oneself rather than the hurt party.

Key Topics Covered:

1. The Apology Continuum:
   • Understanding the spectrum from under-apologizing to over-apologizing.
   • How finding balance is key to effective apologies.
2. Common Apology Misses:
   • Over-apologizing: The difference between saying "I'm sorry" and expressing gratitude.
   • "I'm sorry you feel that way": Why this apology often falls short.
   • Defensive and passive-aggressive apologies.
   • Avoiding the trap of making the apology about ourselves.
3. When to Apologize:
   • Identifying different levels of rupture or injury.
   • How to gauge when an apology is necessary.
   • Recognizing your own values and how they guide sincere apologies.
4. Steps for an Effective Apology:
   • Small Ruptures:
     • Acknowledgement of actions.
     • Validation of the other person’s feelings.
     • Brief reflection on the emotions that motivated your actions.
     • Recognizing the impact and taking accountability.
     • The importance of a sincere apology.
   • Medium Ruptures:
     • All of the above, plus developing an action plan to prevent future issues.
   • Large Betrayals:
     • Understanding the difference between disclosure and discovery.
     • Timing and its importance in the apology process.
     • Allowing space for the injured party to express their feelings.
     • Practicing reflective listening and validation.
     • Expressing genuine regret and remorse.
     • Offering explanations only when appropriate and holding space for continued healing.

Takeaways: Apologies are a vital part of maintaining healthy relationships, but not all apologies are created equal. The hosts offer a thoughtful guide to navigating apologies at different levels, ensuring that they are both genuine and effective in repairing relationships.