Should I Show My Self-Harm Scars? Hiding vs. Showing Self Harm Scars Is Your Choice Alone
Written by Colter Bloxom, LPC
Colter is a licensed psychotherapist and the owner and Executive Director of Thrive Therapy. He specializes in the treatment of anxiety, OCD, identity issues, and more.
Even after you've stopped self-harming, you're often left with the scars. Self-harm scars can be a visible reminder of past emotional pain and behaviors that once felt like a way to cope. For some people, scars may bring up feelings of shame, stigma, negative views about the body, or worries about how others will react. For others, scars can feel neutral or even meaningful. They can be a symbol of everything you've overcome.
Today, I'm going to talk not only about what self-harm scars are, but about making the important personal choice of showing or hiding them. I’ll also discuss the treatment options available — both for the scars themselves and for the underlying mental health conditions (like depression) that often lead to self-injury.
If you or someone you care about is dealing with self-harm, suicidal intent, or suicidal behavior, this article is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services right away. You can also contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. by calling or texting 988 to speak with a trained counselor at any time.
What are self-harm scars?
Self-harm scars are marks left on the skin after deliberate self-harm or nonsuicidal self-injury (also called non-suicidal self-injury or deliberate self-harm without suicidal intent). These injuries are often caused by sharp objects, burning, or other self-inflicted harm. They can be anything from thin cuts on the skin to a major burn injury. The resulting scar tissue can vary widely in size, color, depth, and appearance.
Self-harm scars are most commonly found on the non-dominant forearm and wrist, which are areas people can reach easily while self-injuring. But scars can also appear on the thighs, upper arms, abdomen, chest, or other parts of the body.
Scars can fade over time, change color, or become raised or indented, depending on the type of injury and the healing process of the wound. People who self-injure also often hurt themselves in the same place over and over again, which can complicate healing.
Should I show my self harm scars?
Many people in therapy with us are trying to make the important decision of whether or not they want to show people their self-harm scars or hide them. That's not something that anybody else can answer for you. There's no "right" way to go about it. It's all about what will help you live your life to the fullest.
This decision can bring up complicated feelings — fear of judgment and worries about how scars will affect your work and relationships. Some people worry their scars will be misunderstood as a suicide attempt or suicidal behavior, even when self-harm doesn't usually equal suicidal intent. These fears are understandable, especially in a culture where self-injury is often poorly understood and stigmatized.
Some people hide their scars
Many people hide their scars, especially if they're still actively self-harming or are just starting the recovery process. For example, they might wear long sleeves even if it's hot out. There's nothing necessarily wrong with this.
But often, people find it doesn't work as a long-term solution. Constantly worrying about hiding your scars can get in the way of your quality of life. You shouldn't have to hide part of yourself away or feel ashamed.
The other danger of hiding your scars from everyone is that it often becomes tied to hiding the emotional pain you’re in. And when you hide that you’re in pain, you deny yourself the support you need and deserve. People can’t show up for you if they don’t know you’re hurting.
But for many people, hiding scars feels like a way to stay emotionally safe or avoid stigma and shame. Or it might be connected to feelings of worthlessness or a negative body image (you don't like seeing yourself with scars). You might be afraid of being seen as “attention-seeking.”
People who self-harm might also hide their scars to prevent questions when they don’t feel ready to talk about it. This can be especially true for adolescents and young adults, who can face a lot of social pressure as it is.
Some people try to reduce the appearance (laser, scar revision surgery, etc.)
Others may get cosmetic procedures to reduce the appearance of self-harm scars. Examples of options include:
- Over-the-counter scar fading creams/gels
- Silicone scar tapes
- Laser and other dermatology treatments
- Tattoos that incorporate scars
Plastic surgeons can also do skin surgery for more severe scars. This can include scar revision surgery, reconstructive surgery, skin grafting, or graft procedures that attempt to improve the appearance of scars or restore damaged skin.
The problem with surgery is that if you haven't actively stopped self-harming, then surgery can become part of the self-harm cycle. If you self-harm over the surgery site, then it can lead to medical complications. So surgery is usually only a good fit for people who haven't self-harmed in at least 2 years and who are confident they won’t have a self-harm relapse.
Some people practice acceptance and show their self-injury scars
Lastly, many people choose to show their scars, especially after they've recovered from active self-harm. These scars aren't something to be ashamed of — they're a sign that you've survived intense emotional pain and found other ways to cope. For some people, showing their scars becomes part of self-love and reclaiming their body with all of its imperfections.
At the same time, choosing to pursue scar revisions to reduce the appearance of scars doesn’t necessarily mean you lack self-acceptance. Different choices can reflect different needs at different stages of recovery. Acceptance can coexist with wanting change, and self-respect can look many different ways.
It's totally up to you
At the end of the day, it's completely up to you how you want to go about it. No one can make the decision for you. And it's understandable to be scared or worried about what people will think if you show them your scars. But try to focus on making the decision that's right for you and your mental health — not what will make other people comfortable.
Treatment options to reduce self-harm urges
Treating self-harm scars is only one part of the picture. It’s just as important (if not more so) to treat self-harm itself.
Self-harm is often a coping mechanism. It's a way you've learned to deal with overwhelming emotional pain or numbness when other coping skills haven’t felt helpful. Effective treatment options focus on both physical safety and psychological healing.
Mental health treatment addresses the underlying psychosocial factors that have caused you to self-harm. Treatment may include both therapy and medication. Research, including systematic review and clinical trial data, shows that therapy can help people replace self-harm with safer coping skills and reduce suicide risk over time. Psychiatry can also play a role when medication is appropriate.
If you're already working with a therapist, that might be a good place to start showing your scars in a safe setting. It can be hard to bring up self-harm in therapy, even if it's in the past. But being honest with your therapist about this is the first step to getting the support you deserve.
Physical safety matters, too. Scars can reopen and become infected. Self-harm scars may require medical attention if there’s redness, pain, discharge, or changes in the scarred skin. Treating wounds properly helps protect your health while you work toward recovery.
Don't lose hope. People recover from self-harm every single day. You deserve care that addresses both the visible scars and the emotional pain underneath them.
Depression therapy in Phoenix
Thrive offers individual therapy for people who might be experiencing depression and self-harm. We also have an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) specifically designed for mental health, which provides structured, higher-level care when weekly therapy isn’t enough. Both options focus on building coping skills, reducing self-harm, and addressing the root emotional pain.
Therapy sessions are available at our offices in Phoenix and Glendale, as well as online therapy for Arizona residents. Get in touch with us today, and we’ll help you get matched with the right therapist for you.
